So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
