I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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