We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
