I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
