I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
