im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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