I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
