Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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