Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
