I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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