I met the friendliest cop last night
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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