The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
