I'm jealous of your bromance
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
