He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
