I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
