I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just googled if crying burns calories
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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