I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
