My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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