So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
