I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I intend to get homeless drunk
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We are two peas in an std pod
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
