Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
