ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
bring money and cleavage
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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