Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
