Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize