so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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