That's when you crack a 10am beer
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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