remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
porn star boner night. come get it.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
