I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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