these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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