good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Enjoy the penises
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize