I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We need to rekindle our bromance
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
