you turned your livingroom into a bong?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
