you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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