i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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