I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
