Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I could fuck to npr.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
