will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
