i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
