Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
