Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
