PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize