New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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