That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
