There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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