I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i was born a porn star she said
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
