no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
