i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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