Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
