My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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