i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
