Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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