that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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