I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
