i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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