I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
