we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
