I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
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He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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