Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
