ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
