You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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