You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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