i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
